Here I am, 20 days before IMAZ, trying to stay positive and keep it real at the same time. I swing from feeling confident and ready to being nervous and wondering what the hell I was thinking.
It would be nice to have the luxury of time; meaning, my biggest worry would simply be about going the distance and not about being fast enough to get there in time. If I have to stop to adjust my goggles, fix a flat, go to the bathroom, stretch--whatever--it would be nice to have the luxury of time to take care of these things without worrying about the cutoff up ahead.
But then I think about this: Many of the things I've accomplished this year began with doubts about whether I could succeed.
Swim 2 miles? Make the bike cutoff at Musselman? Climb Kili? PR Savageman? Break 8 hours at Waterman's? Ride 120 miles? I was sure I would try my hardest but unsure that I would actually finish, make it to the top, get faster, whatever. I haven't really spent a lot of energy dwelling on failure, but have had my doubts about succeeding. And yet, in every case, I surprised myself.
Will I surprise myself on November 20th? I guess it all depends on a lot of things, some of which are out of my control. The challenge for me is to nail the things I can control....and then perhaps on November 21st I will be writing about how shocked I am to have gone the distance....and been fast enough to get there in time. Now that's a happy thought. :)
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